Monday, April 16, 2012

New Awareness Again

Yes, it's been a long time since I've written. I've wanted to and sat down to but just couldn't do it at that time. I've taken pictures but the pictures are still on the camera.
Truth is I've been too exhausted. I haven't written about having Hepatitis C and Fibromyalgia because I've struggled with it.
You see, I've listened to others who have told me - "it's all in your head" and "you can get rid of it if you wanted to." I felt shame because I couldn't get rid of these two illnesses or syndromes or diseases or whatever the heck they are.
I've kept on doing what I've wanted to do, needed to do, and been asked to do. I know I feel the pain and the exhaustion physically and then when I'm so exhausted I cannot sleep and then the "Fibro Fog" comes in as they say. I've gotten to the point now where I'm beyond exhaustion. Sleep has been in fits and starts. So that adds to more and when get to the point of exhaustion where my art doesn't seem to be enticing me then I know I'm exhausted.
I've made some decisions and one of those decisions is that I'm even too tired to travel. I dream of going back to MA., NM., FL., AZ., and even seeing new places but I'm not able to do that right now. There are places that I was supposed to go to this spring and early summer and right now that's not going to happen.
I am going to go and do some Proprioceptive Writing, and Zentangles, and maybe work on some beadwork - if I feel like it.
That's it. I will make attempts to sit quietly and do the Zentangles for now. Time marches on and more will be revealed. Have a good one.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry to hear you've been dealing with this! I hope it passes and you move into a more energized state soon. If you can't get back to MA anytime soon, I can at least try to share some photos from that corner of the world with you. :) In the meantime, rest, rejuvenate, do what you need to do, take care of yourself.