Frazzled

Is that how you spell worn out, exhausted, at the end of the rope? Frazzled? It isn't as bad as all that. I do like to exaggerate some times. Guess it's the writer in me.

Frazzled from doing too much and going in too many places. My friend Pat and I get to talk on the phone about every four months because we both do too much and go in too many directions. Our mutual friend Joanne tells us that we need to imagine that every day when we wake up we have one hundred marbles. We need to put energy values on each marble so that we don't over spend our marbles and our energy for the day. Today I think I'm into the year 2020. Overspent.

I don't do anything that anyone else wouldn't do in my circumstances. I have an elderly aunt that I take out to shop once in a while, to the harvest suppers when they are on at the various churches where she comes from and to lunch once in a while. I take her to get her hair done, to eye and dentist appointments etc. I love being with her and listening to her tell me about the activities and the people in the retirement home. I also like to visit my elderly mom once in a while - she has three other daughters near by to take her places and I do go and take her once in a while to an appointment if they are stuck with work or something. But my sister said, "it's your job to look after auntie as she has no one here to do that." So visiting mom or taking her to lunch is more fun than sitting in dr's offices or grocery shopping.

My problem is that I make art and I love doing that. I make art dolls. I make art dolls that take a long time. I put beads on them. I also have ideas in my head that need to come out into the day light so that needs to be done. And then I look at the "studio" in the middle of the little living room area of my apartment and I cringe because it seems that while I was dressing the last doll all the beads and ribbons and lace decided that they would have a fight to see who would be chosen. Well, they figured they couldn't be chosen if they were in their proper storage boxes and drawers - ooohhhh nooooo! So, there is that to do as well - clean up after them and chase them back into their proper places.

Oh, and did I mention that I also like to write? Well, that too can take a bit of time and energy and then pretty soon, I haven't picked up my paints or coloured pencils that I've been wanting to get at - they too jumped out of their hiding places and are dancing around on that little table over there. I will put them in the space where they will be in full view and I will today get at them.

You see I cannot decide what I want to be when I grow up. There isn't enough time to write, draw, paint, sew, embroider, bead, never mind get into music. I have the illustrations to do for that Strawberry story and I really want to do that but - it is only partially started. All these things keep yelling at me and so I go outside for a walk in the fresh air and sunshine or cloudshine and come in to the ... what's the artistic word for mess?